Is it Islamically permissible for a husband to abandon his wife in eating with the intention of pleasing his mother, knowing that his abandonment caused her psychological and physical harm during pregnancy, and what is the effect of that on the children in the future?

It is the wife’s right upon her husband to be treated kindly, which includes sharing meals and companionship with her. In return, honoring one's mother and being good to her is a praiseworthy act. A husband’s visit to his mother to serve her and eat with her is a good deed for which he will be rewarded. The more a wife helps her husband in honoring his mother, the more likely she is to gain his affection and good companionship. It is the wife's right to live in a separate dwelling from her husband's family; she is not obliged to live with them, nor is she required to serve her husband's family except with her consent. What was agreed upon regarding your daily two-hour visit to the husband’s mother is not obligatory, and fulfilling the promise is commendable but not compulsory.