Is disobedience to parents in simple matters, such as washing the car or cleaning the house, considered an act of defiance (disobedience)?

Obeying one's parents is obligatory in matters that benefit them and do not cause you harm, even if they are immoral. Otherwise, it would be considered disobedience (uquq) if the refusal is without a legitimate Shari excuse. It is necessary to ponder and examine the texts related to honoring parents.