Is a woman obliged to ask for her mahr (dowry), and is what the groom's family presents to the girl considered mahr even if she does not ask for it?

The dowry is a pure right for the woman, which Allah has obligated for her. She is permitted to waive all or part of it if she wholeheartedly consents to do so. The statement by some guardians, "We do not stipulate anything," has no effect unless the woman agrees to it. If she agrees to that, and they entrust the dowry to the husband or his family, then the marriage is valid. This is known as "tafwīd al-nikāḥ" (delegation of marriage) or "al-taḥkīm" (arbitration), and scholars have reached a consensus on its permissibility.

The other form of delegation is stipulating the absence of a dowry and mutual agreement to waive it. The majority of jurists consider the marriage valid in this case because the dowry is not a pillar of the contract, while the Malikis consider the marriage invalid in this scenario.

If what the husband's family gives to the wife is the dowry and she accepts it, there is no problem. If she does not accept it, she is entitled to a dowry of similar value (mahr al-mithl). However, if this money is a gift, the wife has the right to demand a dowry of similar value, because a gift is not counted as part of the dowry.