Is it permissible to offer condolences despite the mother's refusal, on the grounds that "it is customary for only married women to go"?

The answer is summarized as follows:

1. Offering condolences (ta'ziyah) is recommended (mustahabb) and not obligatory (wajib), so there is no obligation to go for it.

2. Islamic law did not specify condolence for married women to the exclusion of single women. Thus, an unmarried girl may offer condolences to her female relatives.

3. It is not permissible to go and displease the mother for the sake of offering condolences, because obeying the mother is obligatory, while offering condolences is recommended. The obligatory takes precedence over the recommended.

4. It is possible to combine offering condolences with obeying the mother by offering condolences via phone or by sending condolences with the mother, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) sent condolences with a messenger.